Living Your Values: How to Make Decisions That Align With What Matters Most

When was the last time you made a decision that felt completely aligned with who you are?

In our fast-paced world, we often make choices on autopilot, responding to immediate pressures rather than our deeper guiding principles. When our actions align with our core values, we experience greater wellbeing, resilience, and a sense of purpose.

Let’s explore how identifying your core values can transform your decision-making process and help you create a life that feels authentically yours.

What Are Core Values?

Core values are the fundamental beliefs that guide your behavior and decisions. They’re the principles you hold most dear—the non-negotiables that define who you are and what matters to you.

Think of core values as your internal compass. When you’re clear about what you value most, you can navigate life’s complexities with greater confidence and consistency.

Evidence shows that people who live in alignment with their values report:

• Higher levels of life satisfaction
• Greater resilience during challenges
• Reduced stress and anxiety
• More authentic relationships
• A stronger sense of purpose

Discovering Your Core Values

Many of us have never taken the time to explicitly identify our core values. Instead, we’ve absorbed messages about what we “should” value from family, culture, and society.

Here’s a simple process to uncover your authentic core values:

1. Reflect on peak experiences. Consider moments when you felt most alive, fulfilled, or proud. What values were you honoring in those moments?
2. Identify what frustrates you. Our emotional reactions often point to violated values. What situations consistently trigger strong negative emotions for you?
3. Look for patterns. Review your reflections and look for themes. Which values appear consistently across different areas of your life?
4. Prioritize. While many values may resonate with you, identify the 3-5 that feel most essential to who you are.
5. Test them. Ask yourself: “If I were to compromise on this value, would I still feel like myself?” Your core values are those you wouldn’t willingly sacrifice.

Values-Based Decision Making: A Practical Approach

Once you’ve identified your core values, you can use them as a framework for making both everyday choices and life-changing decisions.

The Process

1. Clarify the decision. Define exactly what you’re deciding and what options you’re considering.
2. Connect to your values. Review your core values and ask which ones are relevant to this decision.
3. Evaluate alignment. For each option, assess how well it aligns with your relevant values. Some questions to consider:
   • Which option best expresses my values?
   • Which option might compromise my values?
   • Which option will help me grow in the direction of my values?
4. Make your choice. Select the option that offers the strongest alignment with your core values.
5. Reflect and adjust. After implementing your decision, reflect on whether it felt aligned and what you might do differently next time.

Small Steps, Big Impact

Values-based decision making doesn’t require dramatic life changes. Start small by bringing your values into everyday choices:

• If you value health, you might choose to take a 10-minute walk during your lunch break.
• If you value creativity, you might spend 15 minutes practicing whatever gets your creative juices flowing – mine is adult coloring. 
• If you value connection, you might schedule a quick check-in call with a friend instead of scrolling social media.

These small, values-aligned actions create momentum. Each time you choose in alignment with your values, you strengthen your connection to what matters most to you.

When Values Conflict

Sometimes different values pull us in opposite directions. For example, you might value both ambition and family time, leading to tensions about work-life balance.

When facing values conflicts:

1. Acknowledge the tension. Recognize that the conflict exists and that it’s normal.
2. Clarify priorities. In this specific situation, which value needs to take precedence?
3. Look for creative solutions. Often, we can honor multiple values with thoughtful planning. Could you work efficiently during focused hours to create more family time later?
4. Practice self-compassion. Perfect alignment isn’t always possible. Be gentle with yourself as you navigate complex decisions.

The Ripple Effect of Values-Based Living

When you consistently make decisions aligned with your core values, you create a powerful ripple effect:

• Your relationships become more authentic as others experience the real you.
• Your energy increases as you reduce the drain of living incongruently.
• Your impact grows as your actions consistently reflect what matters most to you.

As one client shared: “Since I started making decisions based on my values instead of others’ expectations, I feel like I’m finally living my own life. Even difficult choices feel clearer now.”

Start Today: One Small Step

What’s one small decision you could make today that would honor one of your core values?

Perhaps it’s setting a boundary around your time, having a difficult but honest conversation, or dedicating 10 minutes to a practice that matters to you.

Remember, living your values isn’t about perfection—it’s about progress. Each aligned choice builds momentum toward a life that feels authentically yours.

What small, values-aligned step will you take today?

LEAP Forward……LEAP Well