Most of us have been facing our fears since a young age; whether it was monsters under the bed or a fear of the dark, you’ve likely overcome these with age. But in adulthood, our fears become more complex. So much so that they can become debilitating and hold us back from the many wonderful things life has to offer.
What is fear, and why does it have so much control over us?
Fear is an instinctive human emotion that comes in handy when danger is present. Fear triggers the flight-or-fight response, where you either confront your fear to maximize your chances of “survival,” or you can run away from it and seek shelter. A healthy dose of fear can help you be more aware of your surroundings so you can protect yourself and your wellbeing. For example, fear helps keep you safe when you’re cooking over hot burners or when you see a deranged driver speeding down the road you’re driving on.
For many, fear manifests as anxiety or phobias, but these aren’t quite the same as fear itself. Fear may also manifest as existential worries, such as fear of failure, change, or rejection.
What many fears have in common is they cause you to take fewer risks and chances in life. The emotional and physical response to our fears can feel so powerful and scary that we’ll go out of our way to avoid them. But at what cost?
Fear of experiencing fear can keep you stuck for years.
Why should you face your fears?
Not all fears need to be faced, especially if they don’t pose an immediate threat to daily life – such as a fear of snakes or spiders.
But, if the fear of elevators is making your life somehow more complicated, it may be worth exploring and confronting this fear.
Overcoming your fears can help you develop courage, compassion, resilience and wisdom, and it’s an essential step toward personal growth and unlocking your true potential.
The truth about fears is that they only have the power we give them. The more we dwell on them, the bigger and scarier they seem. But I guarantee, if you look back on a fear you used to have and have overcome, you’ll now see it as much smaller than what it was when you were experiencing it. It really is about perspective.
Common Fears That Could Be Holding You Back from Reaching Your Highest Potential
Many types of fears can interfere with your happiness and wellbeing; some examples include a fear of losing financial stability or a loved one, death or embarrassment, and fear of being judged.
Below, we’ll explore four common fears that may interfere with your personal growth.
Fear of rejection
It’s no secret that rejection hurts. It makes us feel as if we’re not good or skilled enough. Sometimes we’re scared to do things differently than we always have because we’re afraid friends or family won’t accept us once we’ve changed. The fear of rejection can also interfere with finding a suitable life partner or stop you from putting yourself and your business out there on social media, for example.
Fear of failure
This fear commonly interferes with our ability to grow and progress. The fear of failure often leads to procrastination and a sense of immunity from failure because if we never really try, we can’t really fail. But this couldn’t be farther from the truth. The choice to do nothing at all is itself a kind of failure. Not everything you do has to be 100% successful.
Fear of change or the unknown
Change carries a lot of uncertainty, which can make us fearful and stop us from growing. We think we’re safe in our daily routine, and even if we aren’t satisfied with every aspect of our life, we find ways to justify remaining comfortable. But staying open to change and pushing yourself to seek new opportunities while embracing uncertainty can help you improve your life in ways you never thought possible. The benefits of change often outweigh the risks.
Fear of success
This fear is rooted in the idea that success will mean more responsibility and pressure to continue to succeed. But we don’t know what success looks like unless we work our way up there and find out for ourselves. You may find that you actually enjoy soaking in success, which will propel you to achieve more.
9 Ways to Face Your Fears
1. Identify your fears
It may take some time and reflection to understand what fears you experience, but some may be more obvious than others. A good place to start is to think about something you’ve always wanted to do or accomplish and then ask yourself why you haven’t done it yet. Next, go deep within and find the true reason or fear that could be holding you back. Once you’ve identified which fears may be worth overcoming for your personal growth and wellbeing, make it a point to face them.
2. Realize you aren’t the only one who experiences fear
You’d be wrong to think you’re the only one who experiences fear. Fear doesn’t make you weak; it’s human. Unfortunately, many people don’t openly discuss their fears, often because of a fear of being judged. Try not to compare yourself to others who are accomplishing the things you wish you could, and remind yourself that you are on your own unique journey to discovering and overcoming your fears.
3. Reframe how you view fear
As previously discussed, fear is not necessarily a negative emotion. It can also be helpful when it warns us of potential danger. But often, the fear we feel doesn’t signify immediate danger. So when you feel fear or anxiety, lean into it instead of running away from it and try to decipher what it is trying to tell you.
4. Call yourself out on the excuses
How many times have you used the excuse that you “don’t have time” for something, but really, it was an underlying fear stopping you? We all know that when something is important to us, we can make the time for it. Being more aware of the excuses you use and calling yourself out on them can help you face your fears.
5. Exposure
One of the most effective ways to face your fears is to do so head-on. If you’re afraid of flying, for example, you can either choose never to fly again and miss out on opportunities to travel or face your fear with the aid of strategies and tools that will help you cope with the anxiety. The more you expose yourself to your fear and the more secure you feel about your coping strategy, the smaller these fears will become. Exposure therapy guided by a mental health professional can be helpful if your fears are extreme.
6. Establish goals
You won’t overcome your fears from one day to the next, but setting goals can help you get there, especially smaller, bite-sized goals. For example, say you’ve been wanting to start a side business, but you’re afraid of success, failure, rejection – all the things. In a scenario like this, always start with small steps. Make a list of goals and milestones and take them one at a time without thinking too far into the future.
7. Use affirmations
Fear is often the result of mental programming where something happened to us at one point, and we didn’t like it, so it became a fear. Over the years, we may push these fears under the rug or keep reinforcing how scary something is, and it becomes deep-seated in our minds. Affirmations can aid in reversing the programming that our fears are based on, and they can help us refocus our thoughts to be more positive. You may want to start with something like, “I am brave and confident I can overcome any challenge that comes my way.”
8. Equip yourself with facts
Fear can sometimes stem from misconceptions or misinformation. For example, many people afraid of flying don’t know that driving is far riskier. Some may experience such an extreme physical reaction to fear that they fear dropping dead on the spot – but the truth is that the physiological response we have to fear won’t do that to us. Facts help us remain more cool, calm and collected.
9. Reflect on how it felt to overcome fears in the past
Look back on times when you felt fear but then went ahead and did the thing that scared you anyway. How did it feel? Did you feel relieved, a rush of adrenaline, proud, or maybe you felt silly for being afraid of it in the first place? This exercise will help remind you that you’re more resilient than you give yourself credit for. Let that boost your confidence in knowing you truly can accomplish anything you set your mind to.
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